Harley has Another Profile
by Dragonbuttero'PKMN
Summary: What if Harley had a profile? Well, I don't know what he would write, but I can write some stuff about him. Finally, the Pokemon Coordinator has a fan that tries to figure him out,using the anime as a basis.
1. Chapter 1

Pokémon Data Files

Harley

Japanese: ハーリー

Full name: Harley Nancy Tinklehorn

Age: 24

Sex: Male

Weight: Estimated between 120 and 140 lb.

Height: Estimated between 5'6" and 6'4"

Orientation: Ambisexual (pronounced Am-bee-sex-yuu-all)

Race: Caucasian/Asian

Nationality: Japan

Occupation: Pokémon Coordinator/performer/nurse

Religion: Satanism and witchcraft

Likes: Feminess things and macabre stuff, men, women, Pokémon

Passion: The Art of woman, Pokémon

Personality: Can be described as angry or very flamboyant, feminine

Other:

Waist to hip ratio= 8:10

Goes to fitness center for 30 minutes a day (lots of guys!)

Has volunteered at a Pokémon Center before

Drinks tea to calm nerves

Has Pokémon in excellent condition

Has associated with Team Rocket before

Has been called evil several times

Even though he's still in his twenties, the Japanese consider him old because he's so scary. Apparently the Japanese think old people are scary, and the people there in Japan have an average lifespan of 80 years

Is known to cross-dress

Loves to cosplay Pokémon

His left ear is pierced

He has the ability to bake cookies and other stuff

He usually speaks in his falsetto voice, only to speak normally when serious

Although he isn't an actual witch, there's no doubt he is somehow related to the paranormal

He likes to have two, maybe three males a day, and sometimes a few females

While Drew is a rose, May is some other flower, and Cacturne is a cactus, Harley is a mixture between a thorn bush, pansies, and hemp, a high flying mother pansy thorn bush.

* * *

><p><strong>もとめる<strong>

**Could someone please reply to this?**


	2. Chapter 2 Harley Myths

**More stuff of Harley!**

_**Are you excited?**_

**Myths of Harley (that I've thought of)**

The only reason he has a handkerchief is because he needs something to bite on when he's angry so that he won't hurt anyone... and he wears it on his head so that is hair is out to the way from any man who might pull on it (this doesn't always work though, and his hair gets pulled).

Don't stare at Harley; you'll fall in love, or perhaps just get infatuated if you just stare at his crotch, or ass.

He has the power to control people with a certain amount of testosterone: more testosterone than the average married man w/ kids, by use of kisses, or other ways.

He's the Japanese devil, or maybe he works for him, or her, or whatever, so he isn't harmed by most things.

He's intimate with his Pokémon, that's how he trains them.

Normally he doesn't like woman, but it's hard for him to ignore the request of a fan... (Why doesn't this guy have more fans? Even if he is gay it's not like he'll completely ignore you or whatever if you're female.)

He loves the American 4kids writers. They're just so gay! And because Harley followed the strict rules of the FCC (barely), the only time when he was censored on American TV was when he drew that skull over May's picture. (Can't allow the threat of death in a kid's show now, can we? The only reason no one complained of Harley's "hidden" sexuality was because the Christians don't let their kids watch Pokémon anyways because of the mention of Evolutionism, and there's pretty much no one left to complain. Harley's supposed to be the bad guy anyway.)

The guy has some crazy hormones, he can be become as muscular as the Frontier brain, Tucker, or female hormones could run through his veins, until this guy could actually be considered female (Don't question my logic! You've seen how feminine this guy can be.)


	3. Chapter 3 Awards!

**The Pokémon Awards!**

A lady said "And the for nominees are... Harley, James, Ash, and Drew!

Drew and Ash yelled "Why am I a nominee?"

James was starting to sweat "Come on..."

Harley was silent.

The lady spoke again: "And the winner, for the Biggest Flamer Award is... Ash Ketchum!"

"What?" Ash yelled.

"Phew..." Drew breatheda sigh of releif.

"HOW CAN I NOT WIN!" SCREAMED James at the top his lungs!

"Figures that one of May's friends would win..." said Harley.

Everyone in the audience was clapping.

"Well... I guess I can get my award... ehehe"

Then Ash went up, got his award, everyone clapped, and Ash went back to his seat.

"Okay, now it's time for the biggest dick award, which was measured... and the winner is Harley.

This outraged Brock "That Fag?"

Harley stood up and yelled "FUCK YEAH!"


	4. Chapter 4 the blog

**Harley's Blog**

Hello! It's me, Harley. I'm starting my own blog!

Now, what should I call this...?

Oh! I know!

**THE GAYLY NEWS**

"Don't you think it should be called the gaily blog?"

Oh god it's her...

Jill! This is MY blog! I can call it whatever I want!

"Okay, whatever" and then Jill went to go see what food was in the fridge.

Okay... now that that's over... let's talk about Cacturne.

Cacturne is just my FAVORITE Pokémon. Its green color and diamond pattern are just simply FABULOUS! I own a Cacturne, which I just love to DEATH! I also have a lot of other cute Pokémon too!

Banette is my little dollface. 3 She's a kick-butt ghost Pokémon with LOTS of attitude. She also has the CUTEST smile!

Ariados is a little spider Pokémon I have that loves to make webs. It's got this face pattern on its behind, or abdomen as some people say, and you can't tell which end is its head! Ha-ha!

Octillery is one of my more powerful Pokémon. He reminds me of Hillery Duff, so sometimes I call him Oct-Hillery. He's also good at dancing.

Then there is Wigglytuff. He's a very rare kind of Wigglytuff that stays violent even if it isn't pissed off. He's good at batting, and he can easily knock out more than one Pokémon. When I first saw him he just surprised me and attacked me out of nowhere. It was so weird, having a flying pink ball of fluff coming right at me. I let him have a taste of my fist and my Cacturne's explosive power. He saw how strong we were, so he just stopped attacking. He did put up quite a fight though, so I decided to catch him. Now he's very obedient, to me anyways.

My Pokémon are my life, and I love them. If a person can't accept that, then I don't see how we'll get along.

I'm also gay, if you can't tell by the title. I don't mind woman though, and I'm not against having a relationship with one, or other things.

Mostly I just try to do whatever's cool. Right now I'm competing in Pokémon Contests in the Johto Region.

Besides that, I like to cook, scrapbook, and gossip. I'm also skilled with technology.

Now onto the reason why I started this blog... the gossip.

If you have anything good to tell me about someone famous tell me. I'll put it up on here.

"No one will say anything."

SHUT UP JILL!


	5. Chapter 5 random stuff

_**Random stuff I wanted to write!**_

The tall, lengthy man, was eyeing an even taller black man across the bar...

...The man motioned his hands motioned in anticipation to do a surprise strip of his pants, but Harley realized what he was about to do, and used his own hands to grab _HIS_ pants "If you try something then I'll do it back." Harley didn't normally act like this, but YOU DO **NOT** TAKE SOMEONE'S PANTS OFF IN PUBLIC!

...

Did anyone notice Harley talks like a "hip teenage girl"?

...

OMG Harley seems to be able to change his figure from masculine to feminine in minutes!

...

Harley's ass definitely does not look male...

...WHAT DOES "Bye-Bi" MEAN?

...

...Weather Harley looks like a chick or a man, he's freakin' hot, though I prefer the more masculine one...

* * *

><p>*Harley walks in and sees me typing* "..."<p>

"Harley!"

"...Did anyone say anything about Pokémon character gossip?"

"Uh... all I've got is that Ash is an idiot."

"Hm... Carry on" *walks away*

That was... weird. Anyways, ON WITH THE SHOW!

* * *

><p>If Harley had a favorite music genre, it would probably either be po or metal... or whatever music they have in Japan.<p>

...

Did anyone else notice Harley sometimes forgets to wear underwear on the show...? I think I might be able to see...

...

Harley should not be confused with an actual woman. If he is, then Harley or someone else will certainly try to correct you.

...

I don't think Drew likes Harley. Maybe he respects him for his power, but I don't think he likes him.

...

The only time Ash said something to Harley was when he was congradulating him for something... or something like that. Ash dares not to talk to him about something other than how to treat Pokémon.

...

Wouldn't Paul react the same way as Drew if he saw Harley? Except he would be a bit more... well, either he would be like "I don't care if he's gay or not" and just say something about his Pokémon, or he'd be like "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS FAG AND WHY ISN'T HE DEAD?"

* * *

><p><em><span>Review! Someone say something!<span>_


	6. Chapter 6 more random stuff

Uh, I don't know...

Okay, let's get this straight.

Normally, on days of contests or something important, Harley would wake up at 5:00 or 5:30, then hog the bathroom for an hour or two. Then goes for breakfast, always with a cup of tea. Then 15 minutes to powder up. Then a few hours of Pokémon training, lunch with tea (the guy always drinks tea unless he eats at a restaurant or something), then a few hours walking around to scope out the arena and his opponents, more training, dinner, more training, then he's got a few extra hours to do whatever with like surf the web, work on a new contest outfit, or play videogames (currently plays either Nintendo 3DS, Wii U, or XBOX 360).

And now I'm bored...

...Yeah, Soledad was an old friend of Harley's, know each other since they were eleven or twelve. They dated when they were teenagers, but they broke up soon after they started dating.

Harley hasn't really came up with any good ideas to defeat May since the Kanto Grand Festival. Their rivalry has sort of cooled down since then.

Yes, Harley likes chocolate. Just because he never said anything about it doesn't mean he doesn't like it. Go ahead and buy him some, if you want to. Harley's other favorite foods are sausage, and... uh... just mostly sausage. ...Oh, wait, hot dogs too.

...And, now I must type as much as possible before people read this with so few words...

Harley ranks a 4.75 on the Kinsley scale (in-between bisexual and gay).

He was raised by only one of his parents.

He was picked on as a kid for looking girly, being girly, and also for being stupid.

Harley got into goth culture and Satanism when he was 13, got out of it when he was 16 but still likes the culture.

He's slightly masochistic but is much, much more sadistic. Literally could go without sex for life if he could just freely torture people...

Harley does not fear the government. He just doesn't. He does however, fear the public. There is soooooo much about his life he'd rather not get out, so he keeps it a secret from most people, the only ones exempt are his closest friends. Don't think you'll get him to tell you anything after just seeing him a couple time at contests or hanging out with him, or even date, for a few days, or even weeks.

If you want an octopus hot dog just microwave a hot dog then take a knife and cut it long-ways to make the tentacles, then use whatever condiments for the face. If you want an "Octillery Snacky" (or as I call them, Octopus Snacks) you're going to need some raw hot dog dough and somehow get that shaped into a hot dog, fry it until the skin is completely baked and the middle is still liquid, poke holes in it and let the dough gush just slightly to make little beads, then immediately fry it again. Don't ask me how to do the tentacles on the Octillery Snacky.


End file.
